NEWS OF THE DAY: FEBRUARY 19, 2014

Posted by admin on February 19, 2014 Blog | | No comments

Anti-government protestors in Ukraine ignited a fiery barricade to combat riot police. Results were mixed as tear gas made the s’mores taste funky.

While his people remain brutalized and starving, North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un reportedly spends even more on extravagant luxuries than his father did. When he dies this will place him in an even deeper layer of Hell than the senior Kim currently occupies. Satan is concerned because he doesn’t have any tortures prepared for a person this awful. He is considering crowd-sourcing.

Obama apologizes for mocking Art History majors in a speech in Wisconsin thus cutting short a potentially prolific Blue Period.

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