NEWS OF THE DAY: FEBRUARY 9, 2014

Humanitarian workers have resumed aid to the Syrian city of Homs after being attacked with mortar fire earlier this weekend. Maybe this time they won’t forget the paper plates and bag of ice they agreed to bring.

The US Department of Justice will expand spousal privilege to gay married couples meaning spouses will no longer be compelled to incriminate their loved ones in court and making six or seven Law and Order re-runs feel totally dated.

The Greensboro zoning commission will vote tomorrow on a proposal that could bring a Trader Joe’s and a drug store to Friendly Ave. The proposed name of this mini-not-quite-a-shopping-center? “The Pills and Two-Buck Chuck Vomit Plaza.”